The Loneliness of Lying

“It will live the lifestyle you need to project to others. You can finally be who you want people to think you are. They don’t know you’re sitting at home, getting caught up on ‘Downton Abbey’,” reads an article in which I found out about a new app called CouchCachet which “finds all the coolest places in your neighborhood, then automatically uses Foursquare to check you into them — with none of the irritation of actually leaving the couch.”

Yes, the idea is to lie so that people will think you’re cooler than you are (if cool is indeed defined by being out at the place of the moment, crammed into a space the size of a phone booth, yelling to be heard over pounding music). Of course that definition of “cool” is not everybody’s. But if it’s yours, then you can pretend to be uber-amazing while actually being something else (i.e. home where you want to be).

So this is for people who don’t want to admit who they are. So they can impress people who don’t seem to know them that well anyway. So that they can seem cool. Which is defined in a generic way. (That’s so sad that the telling of it defies proper punctuation.)

It’s one thing to stay home because it’s an authentic expression of your preferences, which you would defend to the death when confronted with any number of social options. It’s another thing to make the choice but need to pretend that you’re not in fact doing that.

You’re just fine, in fact you’re pretty stellar, just the way you are. And it’s worth the risk to be known “as is,” without varnishing, without whitewashing, and without lying. Your mother probably used to tell you that you didn’t want the friends who wouldn’t accept you for who you really are. She was right.

“Don’t Get Up. App Makes Your Couch a Cool Spot” is a New York Times article by Jim Dwyer. You can read it here.

Leave a Reply