More Drawstring, Less Lace

“More drawstring, less lace” is the dress code for a cuddle party. Cuddle parties are a new social movement where people (strangers) come together to roll around like puppies and flop all over each other, offer foot rubs, back scratching, all the things that used to just happen between people and now need to be organized and planned.

This is about human comfort, nonsexual touch, connectedness. And it’s a desperate need. Let me start there. I agree that there’s a need.

Let me jump to saying that this is not for me, which is nearly irrelevant except that I’m the author of this blogpost, and I do have a perspective. But the idea of showing up at an address and beginning to hug someone I just met… well I’m squeamish. I also happen to be married and have people I can touch. So perhaps I’m not the market for this.

Okay, that out of the way, it’s not about me. And on the physical plane, this cuddle party movement is doing what SPACIOUS is also doing on the social end — institutionalizing and organizing something that people could do on their own, used to do on their own, and find hard to do on their own.

So I’m glad this exists. And I’m sad that this needs to exist.

I’m not going to beat a dead horse and talk about how technology makes us feel connected when in fact there is a loneliness epidemic. I’m not going to try to convince you that for many of us there’s a dearth of deep connections, neighborliness, physical affection shared, burdens shouldered and life done with others. You either are living that or just know it.

Send me your examples of organizations and movements that are about bringing together people in ways that used to just be normal social interactions that happened organically (dinner parties, block parties, neighborhood associations) but now are being taken up in a more organized way. I’m reflecting on all this as I continue to shape SPACIOUS.

And if you want to learn more about cuddle parties, check out (technical difficulties with our site; sorry for not hyperlinking, but it’s worth your trouble to cut and paste).

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