Say What You Want to Say

Do you do it? Do you say what you need to say?

Or are you building up a permanent lump in your throat, a lump around which you talk and around which you’ll need to learn to breathe and then even think?

Speaking from the vantage point of an older age, it seems that the later in life we start saying what we really need to say, the harder it is to do it. Think about how hard it is to speak up in a relationship where the other party has assumed (because you didn’t tell them otherwise) that all is well… but it’s not.

I remember being a newlywed and hearing about an older, distant relative who went to his wife and said that he’d been bugged by a boatload of things for 35 years and now couldn’t tolerate them or, as a result, the marriage. And she said, “I wish you’d told me sooner.” To which he replied, “Yes, that would have been good. But I didn’t. And now this is how I feel, and I don’t expect you to be able to change things that you’ve done for 35 years, so I’m leaving.”

There are about 1000 other things wrong with that scenario but it did stick with me as an illustration of what happens when we don’t keep current accounts and say what we need to say.

I love this song, Brave, by Sarah Bareilles about speaking up. You may too.

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