New York Times

Don’t Waste My Time with a “Thank-you”

We used to ask people the time so that we could start a conversation. Or ask for directions in the hopes that they might walk with us. Or any number of similar conversational gambits that might move the relational ball forward.

In a New York Times article entitled Disruptions: Digital Era Redefining Etiquette, author Nick Bilton writes about the balance between time-wasting pleasantries and modern-era communication protocols. I do a lot of this wrong;

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The Loneliness of Lying

“It will live the lifestyle you need to project to others. You can finally be who you want people to think you are. They don’t know you’re sitting at home, getting caught up on ‘Downton Abbey’,” reads an article in which I found out about a new app called CouchCachet which “finds all the coolest places in your neighborhood, then automatically uses Foursquare to check you into them — with none of the irritation of actually leaving the couch.”

Yes, the idea is to lie so that people will think you’re cooler than you are (if cool is indeed defined by being out at the place of the moment,

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Reader response to the irony conversation

In my last post, I wrote about SPACIOUS as an anti-irony mechanism. I could also call it an anti-sarcasm or anti-isolation movement. My passion is connecting people for the greater good and flourishing of all. Yes, that’s ambitious, and yet I think it’s possible.

In the New York Times article I referenced in that last post, author Christy Wampole writes:

“What would it take to overcome the cultural pull of irony?

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Negative Thinking

Following on my last post about my preference for naming reality (as opposed to having to pretend or denying what is), I’ve been thinking about the value of positive vs. negative thinking. I wouldn’t espouse “negative thinking” per se because I believe that our emotions follow our thoughts, and they can go down some pretty ugly pathways if we focus on doomsday scenarios that may or may not bear any resemblance to reality or possibility.

Yet I do believe that uninformed euphoria and “just ignore the facts and concentrate on being happy”

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The Flight Back to Conversation

If a smile is the first currency exchanged in a potential relationship, think about where actual words might take you. And then think about what is robbing you of the joy of conversation.

I last wrote about missed connections and people who were seeking to find strangers they wished they’d spoken to when they spotted them in public. Most of them simply exchanged a smile, and yet the smile had stayed in the memory of one party, who was now desperately seeking the other.

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Racism, Gentrification and Sleepovers

Probably the biggest thrill in leading SPACIOUS has been the fun, collaborative interaction with so many people, many of whom I didn’t know six months or even one month ago. I’m learning a lot from other people as our enterprise gains momentum as any good movement, by definition, does.

One new friend, Kerry, tweeted a couple of thoughts last week, making a connection that got me excited, and I’m simply taking the two things she juxtaposed and saying more about that intersection.

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Singular Lives Remembered & Celebrated

The end of a year is a natural time to think about milestones. It’s a natural ending, followed by a new beginning.

As I look ahead at a new year, I always muse about what might transpire during the next distinctly packaged set of 365 days, what we call a year. Will there be births, deaths, engagements, losses, victories, surprises? Of course the answer is “yes” to each of those queries. But how close will they be to me, to my inner circle?

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Too Wired and Connected to be Spacious

A subscriber to our site, Hannah, sent me an email after she signed up. I loved “meeting” her online, and I was also dumbstruck by one line in her email. She said, “It must be hard to keep your life spacious in the real world if you are keeping it so spacious on the web….”

Oftentimes I know what I need to pay particular attention to if it makes me feel like I might burst into tears; that’s a subtle clue!

Read more Too Wired and Connected to be Spacious